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The Importance of Names, and other disappointments

Well, it looks like my long-running bad luck when it comes to things like lotteries is holding up. I'm in a dormitory. I'd hoped that since a few people were assigned to efficiency apartments today, I might be one of the lucky few, but it looks like you're going to be getting first-year Columbia Law commentary through the window of a graduate dorm.

Oh well. I passed my exams at Oxford while studying in a dorm, and this looks like a bigger room than I had then. Indeed, I have friends in London with smaller apartments--roughly 14" square. Downside is that there's one kitchen for 10 people, and it doesn't look like it's that cheap: somewhere between $630-$800/month, depending on what the email means, which surprisingly isn't clear. So, no gourmet meals for me then.

So, let's put a slightly nicer spin on this. I'm going to be on a floor with somewhere between 10 and 13 people, with one kitchen shared between us. Your resident devil-in-training is obviously going to need a name for his abode. I hereby open the competition for names for either the room, or maybe even the entire section if I can convince my future hallmates. Obviously stick to the theme, but I'm open to suggestions.

Update: In the early runnings, the leader is "Brimstone House," slightly ahead of "Hell's Lounge."


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How about something like "The Tenth Circle" ? That's the one reserved for lawyers, right ?
Two things: Firstly, thanks for linking to my website :) Secondly, names: Enter and be Damned The Hall of No Return Dante's Dorm The Tenth Circle The Big Fluffy Palace of Eternal Doom Purgatory That should keep you going, let me know if I win!
Two things: Firstly, thanks for linking to my website :) Secondly, names: Enter and be Damned The Hall of No Return Dante's Dorm The Tenth Circle The Big Fluffy Palace of Eternal Doom Purgatory That should keep you going, let me know if I win!
Ah bugger! I've been beaten to The Tenth Circle and then posted twice because of a connection timeout...
His Satanic Majesties Abode Milton Keynes
Does it have to be named? When I was in law school, I settled for a sign in gothic lettering (I was into calligraphy at the time) saying: "Abandon hope all ye who enter this place." But if it's a name you need, consider this a third vote for "The Tenth Circle". Cheers, Len "and relax; you can have more fun than you can stand in a dorm room if you have the right attitude" Cleavelin
To those who typically think of Hell as having only nine levels, I think the 'Tenth Level' being referred to comes from an old Onion article. I give the article for your reference. It's a good idea, although technically I'm on the eighth floor, so it doesn't fit, though it's still tempting. The eighth floor, however, leads one directly to the idea of the Malebolge, eighth level of hell and home of the fraudulent and malicious. This was the level of punishment for seducers, pimps, hypocrits, magicians, diviners, fortune tellers, simonists, and barraters (those who used their public office for private gain). It has a certain lawyerly appeal, and means I could call my fellow hallmates malebranche if they're annoying. Downside--if anyone remembers a comic book named Spawn, the Malebolge was the important level of Hell in that cheesefest. :)
Spawn? Why of course I remember Spawn! I have Todd MacFarlane's autograph. I'm sorry to hear about dorm living. I am also awaiting a house assignment at Santa Cruz and I'm hoping and praying that they put me in a single. For the last two years i've encountered roommates from hell. Oh, and the tenth circle is nice. But you know, I had another idea but I'm sure you'd find it quite unacceptable :(
I think I mentioned this before, but if you turn out unhappy with your living situation, just hound the housing office until they move you. There are open spots, trust me. Housing is amazingly incompetent. Every rising 2L I know who was in dorms a) hated it, b) moved out asap. Unfortunately, "asap" ranged from 3 months to end of the school year. Good luck. Oh, and I vote for Malebolge. ;)
Or maybe "House of Fire and Motions to Dismiss."
Oooh. I like 'House of Fire and Motions to Dismiss,' actually, so it's up there in the running. I've heard a lot of very general negativity about living in the dorms (although I've also heard one positive voice), but no one has actually told me why they dislike the idea. Short of the fact that you're sharing a kitchen between insanely-many people, what's wrong with it? I'm assuming that most apartment rooms aren't 14" square...
If you play with the name of the place, it seems to me that calling it Hell-Money Hall might make sense.
How about Hell's Kitchen?
Or Hell's Common Kitchen, given the layout.
satan rules

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