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Swimsuit Issue

I rarely read James Lileks, but his piece on Sports Illustrated's swimsuit issue made me laugh:

It is a rather rude folio, if you're easily offended. The swimsuit issue has nothing to do with the stated goal of the magazine, which is to Illustrate Sports. Pouty women clawing through the sand with their fundaments aimed at Old Sol have a tenuous connection to athletic endeavors. It's as if Martha Stewart Living suddenly devoted an issue to Mortal Kombat cheat codes, or DogFancy suddenly spent an entire issue on automatic transmissions. . . .

I'm betting that Martha plays a pretty mean game of Mortal Kombat.


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It's a well written piece, but I think he misses a trick there. To me, the interesting thing about the publication in question is that it is to sex what boy bands are to music, what McDonalds is to food and what Budweiser is to beer. Virtually every girl in there has exactly the same charms on offer - very nicely produced if you like that sort of thing, but hardly worth more than a page or two. In effect, it's shrink-wrapped, microwaveable sex-flavoured blandness for conformists and virgins. So actually yes, I would be ashamed if I bought a copy. :-)
In effect, it's shrink-wrapped, microwaveable sex-flavoured blandness for conformists and virgins. I still prefer the term Minivan Cheesecake.
I never look at Lileks enough--he's a very funny guy with his own rhythm. Also, his gallery of regrettable foods is powerfully funny stuff...
I'm sure Martha kicks ass at Mortal Kombat too. And I'm sure she does it while baking sugar cookies shaped like characters from the game. It's a good thing.
I agree that the SI swimsuit issue has absolutely nothing to do with sports. It does seem that this particular issue of the magazine is much more about introducing new bikini styles and swimsuit fashion designers. Why it masquerades under the title of Sports Illustrated, I will never know.

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