»It's Fun To Be A Columbia Conservative
So the big Ashcroft confab is going to be tonight. I don't think I'll be able to cover the protests, but I'm going to be sending an official Three Years of Hell Roving Reporter to give you all a glimpse of what's happening.
A few minutes ago, one of the protest groups resent their email instructing folks, "If you are against TORTURE, BIGOTRY, SEXISM, CLASSISM, AMERICAN THEOCRACY, and just plain mean people who can't sing [] JOIN the Campus�Wide 'Ashcroft Welcoming Committee.'" I'll be sure to send my roving reporter to interview, then, some folks who didn't show up and thus may be in favor of torture, bigotry, sexism, and really bad karaoke.[1]
In the meantime, my congratulations to Mr. Adam Pulver, whose letter-to-the-editor reprinted at the Columbia ACS blog actually goes beyond my ability at parody. Seriously, it already reads like a conservative doing a drunken rendition of "whiny liberal" in some bizarre party game:
For the past thirty years, the American conservative movement has used college campuses to develop a corps of ideologues, using its wealth to fund speakers and programs. These students become the party faithful, spewing rhetoric, challenging "liberal bias," and raising money while claiming to be "nonpartisan."
This is why it's more fun to be a conservative in law school. If you're a liberal, you just raise funds to bring in a speaker. Do the same thing as a conservative, and everyone thinks you're taking orders directly from Count Fosco.
[1]: A (quite liberal) friend of mine points out that those who can't sing are a grievously underrepresented group.
