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April 14, 2004

OPEN LETTER TO COLLEGIATE FUNDING SERVICES

TO: COLLEGIATE FUNDING SERVICES
RE: Your Junk Bulk-Mailing ”Strategy”

Dear Sirs:

Today, for the second time, I received an offer to consolidate my student loans through your company. Just like the last time, your offer was masquerading in the form of a bill: the outside of the envelope is stamped SECOND NOTICE and there's a subject line reading "RE: Student loan payment."

I was very tired today, and when I pulled your letter out of the mailbox, I just saw the bright red unfriendly SECOND NOTICE. Thinking it was a bill, I opened it immediately, only to see a 'pre-approval' for consolidation.

Now, let me write this in simple words, so that even your obviously obtuse marketing department can understand. Under no circumstances will I ever use your services. I would not entrust thousands of dollars to a corporation who believes that sending me advertisements trussed up like late billing notices is a good idea. It leaves a bad taste in the mouth to get your 'exciting offer' right after you've summoned up visions of late fees and service cancellationsf. Even supposing such a strategy is ethical, it's very, very dumb.

Yours truly,

A. Rickey

August 01, 2003

Reality leaves its grimy little teethmarks upon my flesh

Well, it's finally happening. Today I'm sending off the housing acceptance, accepting my place in the Malebolge. I've decided that the building I live in can be called the Malebolge, and the dorm room itself House of Fire and Motions to Dismiss (or HFMD) as per Eric's suggestion. This whole "I'm going to become a lawyer" thing is now very real to me. When my stomach stops doing acrobatics, I'm sure things will start getting done.

In other news, I've applied for another credit card, and it looks like they'll give it to me. I don't really need another credit card, but this one has a good balance transfer rate. I'm considering it an important experiment:

a) Will a credit card company actually give a substantial line of credit to someone who has admitted that for three years their annual income is zero? and;

b) Will attempting to purchase an item from the Columbia bookstore (or indeed, my tuition) using a credit card branded with National Review provide the kind of ideological antimatter necessary to annihilate several blocks of Manhattan, or will the card just spontaneously combust upon first use?

I love the American attitude towards consumer credit. I'm sure that in theory the real reason for credit cards is to either borrow money or conveniently purchase items, but I've become convinced that with all the silly pictures and cobranding, the free insurance policies, and the temptations to game the system with their ludicrous special offers, they're actually a part of the entertainment industry.

July 11, 2003

You move 16 tons, and...

Well, I'm selling all my old stuff in preparation for my new life. No more games, no more things I'll never use. Ebay is such a handy little tool.

If you happen to like old computer games, and are a collector of their boxes (hey, some are), you can check out what I have for sale. Yes, this is a shameless ad, but then, I'm going to have this in the right-hand nav soon.

June 20, 2003

Not auspicious

Not a good start to a law school career. My lender of choice just returned my loan application, pointing out that I'd signed only one of two places necessary to complete the form.

D'oh!

Giving The Devil His Due

OPEN LETTER TO COLLEGIATE FUNDING SERVICES (9)
Harold Guerney wrote: Someone please ask Mrs. Wrenn if sh... [more]

Reality leaves its grimy little teethmarks upon my flesh (2)
Eric wrote: An excellent choice on the name, An... [more]

You move 16 tons, and... (2)
Anthony Rickey wrote: No, it's just the first volley in w... [more]

Not auspicious (0)

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